Frisky Friday – A Sexy Election

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Because many need a distraction in the province right now, I thought you could do something fun with your partner.

Each make up some “ballots” with options for “play-time”. Do it separately. You could even rank them.

Wherever you both vote the same or both rank highly, that’s what you do first.

Everything else on the list is a discovery of some things you’re curious about that you can explore together later ūüėČ

Have a good weekend!

R~

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Make-It Monday – Electing to Succeed

bitmoji_goalsIt’s election week in Ontario though advanced voting started last week. Thus, the theme for this week is born.

But other than mentioning that I’m working the election as a tabulator, I’m not actually going to spend a bunch of time talking about the election because I really don’t want to.¬† People will be handing me their votes in a cardboard folder to feed into the vote counting machine. Tomorrow, I train for it, Wednesday I pick up my machine, Thursday is the election, and Friday there’s some sort of debrief.

So what am I going to talk about? Electing to succeed. What do I mean by that? I mean choosing the path that will lead to your own definition of success.

For example, yes, there are many things I *can* do for work, but if I apply to everything I could possibly do, I know it won’t lead to me having a reasonable amount of happiness. Some jobs are more demanding than others and could leave me in a position where I’m making money, but have no time to write.

That’s not my definition of success. It wouldn’t make me happy. Success to me is having a decent job and being able to pursue my art. I don’t need to be getting wealthy off my day job to be happy. I don’t need to have the kind of income that lets me buy every new gadget that comes out or travel to every country. I need a position that uses my skills to help others while giving me enough to cover my expenses with a little bit extra to put towards debt and some social events.

But it may take a while to get that job. So I’m also pursuing other positions that give me skills I don’t currently have.

I have a multi-step plan.

I’m electing to succeed in the short term and building myself a path for future success.

There are a lot of things going on right now. For example, I got fingerprints done today and my internship is keeping me busy. I’m also self-studying a couple of things to boost my employ-ability. These things will also help my art.

Speaking of my art, I haven’t done much lately because I’ve been so busy figuring out my path and applying to jobs, but I’ll be getting back at it with more vigor than ever¬† once election week is over. I have a feeling I’ll be wanting to hermit regardless of the result…

I feel so fortunate to have good friends helping me through this transition! I don’t know where I’d be without them.

R~

Fortifying Friday – Sad

candle-1239891_640I haven’t forgotten about Frisky Friday.

I just haven’t felt up to it for quite some time and my life has been very busy between work placement and traveling for martial arts.

The world is so reactive right now and it makes me sad.

People want to address problems by ignoring the root cause. Again. I don’t know how many times they need to see the same thing happen before they realize their emotions are clouding their judgment on what actually works.

What I’ve been saying for days now is the same as what the experts, who have been working to make things better since Columbine, have been saying.

And I’ve seen it in action.

There was a kid in my school that made a hit list. Many of the people I know were on it. So many have forgotten this incident for some reason. Or maybe they’re just ashamed for making him feel so bad he wanted to kill people. I wasn’t on the list because I wasn’t mean to him. It really wasn’t hard not to be.

What happened with it?

When the list was discovered, the boy was immediately removed from our school and sent away to get help. Eventually, he finished his education in a different city. Instead of ignoring the issue, corrective action was taken immediately and everyone was kept safe. The boy grew into a man and never killed anyone.

Today, he’s a relatively normal geeky guy.

This whole thing is killing me inside because I want everyone to have their rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness protected and so many want to take away rights to put things in place that have proven time and again not to solve the problems. How can you propose solutions that ignore so many of the facts?

Those of us that see beyond one element of this problem are treated as if we are heartless monsters for suggesting the tool is just a symptom. My heart hurts so much right now. I just want these people to stop falling through the cracks. I want everyone to live their lives fully and freely. I don’t want to hear about more children dying because some kid had mental health issues, no father, no friends, etc.

It’s not my country. I can’t do anything about policy. All I can do is help people see the broader picture. When you give up a right, you don’t get it back. Many gun laws are in place and the people hired to enforce them didn’t do their jobs.

I’m just a woman who has noticed the pattern repeat time and again, so I can understand you may think little of my opinion on this matter. But how about the opinion of an expert who does this for a living, Clint Fiore?

Sorry for being a downer tonight.

And that’s how life’s river flows today.
R~

Warrior Wednesday – Reactivity

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The martial arts community that I’m part of is truly wonderful. I mean, there are a lot of us in the sword arts that have a different way of looking at the world. Perhaps it is because we practice a more spiritual art than one that is more focused on sport or hurting others. We know sharp swords can cause great harm and I think that makes us think more before we decide to take an action that may be irreversible.

We’re told to win without ever drawing the sword.

That’s not to say we’re all the same. Some of us are less reactive about the things we see in the news than others. Some are just as prone to reacting from an emotional place no matter how much training they undertake to stay calm in moments of distress. I don’t know why that is, but I find it interesting.

I’m one of the calm ones. Why? Because the same patterns have continued to repeat throughout my lifetime. I’ve seen it so many times that I’m not shocked when anything happens anymore. I see people get upset and in a couple of months they forget again until the next time. They share memes to that effect, yet they still do it anyway.

What do I do? How am I able to stay calm? I ask myself what I can personally do to effect positive change. If I can’t do anything to make a good change happen, I go do something where I can effect change and leave that other thing up to the people who are better suited than I am to bring about a solution.

I can’t stop other countries from waging war on each other or get the US to seriously consider a change to its gun laws without quashing any citizen’s right to protect itself against the threat of government tyranny. I can write stories that might empower someone else who is in a better position to develop a solution to those problems.

I can also clean up my home, so that I may live in a better environment that will help ensure I can pay attention to my studies and my loved ones in order to be my best self.

In October, I lost a friend to a fentanyl overdose. Instead of wasting my time on social media fighting with people who refuse to understand the issue, I wrote a short play that features a hockey mom who gets hurt and finds herself turning to street drugs after the medical system lets her down no matter how many times she asks for help. It’s going to be performed later this year and who knows where it may go after that. It may go nowhere or it may help someone. The point is that I’m using the skill I have spent a lot of time honing to try and make a difference.

What are you uniquely skilled at? Maybe you make jewelery? Why not come up with a special line that raises funds for a cause you’re passionate about? You’re pissed off about a government policy? Join a political party to try and change it. You’re concerned about the environment? Be like that kid who developed a system to take trash out of the ocean.

As martial artists, we aren’t supposed to react. We’re supposed to see multiple possibilities and choose the best option for the situation that we already saw coming.

Get off Facebook and take action where you can. You’ll feel better and may actually help someone. Otherwise, you’re just annoying your friends who probably already agree there’s a problem that needs solving.

And that’s how life’s river flows today.
R~

Thoughtful Thursday – False Information

thoughtfulYou know what grinds my gears?

People telling me not to reply to their blog posts unless I jump through a bunch of hoops to format it just the way they find acceptable.

“You better say a stream of pleasantries rather than simply sharing a link or it’s unwelcoming.”

“You can only reply if you meet my ridiculous IQ level requirements that actually prove nothing about your intelligence, but really show my own insecurity about mine.”

“We need proof you’ve crossed a barren landscape and survived the Hidalgo sandstorm before we’ll talk to you.”

“Rescue a monkey from Agamemnon and we’ll see if you might know something worthwhile to chat about.”

Because that kind of response as a reply to your blog post is welcoming.

Nope.

Guess what?

It feels more like a slap in the face.

Guess what else?

There are thousands of other bloggers out there who are simply happy to have any response at all.

I guess I’m rambling about something without having mentioned what it’s even about. I get rather annoyed when I see people continually sharing incorrect information. In this particular case it relates to Marie Antoinette and that famous saying she almost certainly never said.

I suppose I find it extra irksome since her blood somehow runs in my veins, but whatever.

The point is that if you know it is widely debated on whether she could have said it since she was a young child at the time it was supposedly said, making an entire blog post about it just to make a comment about Trump is rather pathetic. All it shows is your own ignorance and desperation. Yes, Trump is an idiot and a mostly shitty human, but pointing that out doesn’t make you a better person.

Working on yourself does.

Do some frigging research before plucking some historical figure out of the air and using them for your “all rich people are evil” rhetoric. There are tons of rich people who do wonderful things in this world such as J.K. Rowling, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, and many more. Many of them have even undertaken pacts to give away the majority of their wealth. Just because you aren’t on the receiving end, doesn’t mean they aren’t sharing it.

Also, if you can’t go a day without talking or posting about Trump, you have an unhealthy obsession.

Many of my fellow Canadians are so focused on what’s going on south of the border, they’re ignoring the bad shit our Prime Minister has been doing. Most of his election promises have been broken, but few are talking about the pipeline, reconciliation, clean water for the First Nations communities, the shit show that is the plan for cannabis legalization, and much more.

That bugs me too.

And if you want to know how rich people got where they are? Yes, it’s true that some of them got there by birth, but many got there by working hard and focusing on their goals or by seizing an opportunity instead of whining about other people being rich.

Also, while you sit there complaining about Trump, he continues pushing forward on his goals while your own languish.

Speaking of goals, I’m off to school early today for a meeting that could be really important for my future.

Guid cheerio the nou,
R~

Thoughtful Thursday – A liar ought to…

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“A liar ought to have a good memory.”

True. They’ll be found out pretty quickly if they aren’t good at it. Trump pathologically lies as his daughter takes a new position and signs documents in front of the media.¬†Somehow, he got good enough at lying that he made a huge amount of money doing it and now he’s rather untouchable. Everything he says can be a lie and everyone can know it is a lie, yet this doesn’t stop him from doing anything.¬†I mean, he holds one of the most powerful positions in the world. He got it by lying and, so far, he continues to hold it while lying despite calls for impeachment.¬†Not a good role model to be sure.¬†It’s an interesting thing to puzzle how someone like Trump can lie so successfully and yet most other people get found out and stopped long before they ever reach some sort of celebrity status.¬†Is it morals or¬†ethics that separate most of us from people like Trump or did he sell his soul? I mean, the demons in Supernatural seem to have more heart.

I’m not a fan of lying. On the few occasions that I’ve done it, I noticed it just creates more work for me. And the truth is that I have so many other things I’d rather do than keep up some charade.

As a storyteller, it can be a fun thing to write into a character though. Say you have a character who decides the sky is red. This is how he sees it. Eventually they’ll be questioned about it and have to produce some sort of documentation. They could do talk shows about how they see and all the while it’s a lie. You have the freedom to continue making each moment full of tension and make the reader/viewer wonder if they will be found out. We want to know how far¬†the character can go before they are found out.

The last time I lied it was to protect myself but also to get a couple to talk to each other. I had found myself in the middle of the two of them and, given I was once involved with one of them, it was an immensely uncomfortable place for me to be. I lost a friend because of it. Even lies with good intentions are lies and someone always gets hurt. Hindsight tells me I could’ve handled it better, but sometimes one just reacts. I didn’t lie about any of the experiences I had in dating the person, but only that I was okay talking about any of it. Sometimes it’s just better not to know about someone’s past anyway as there’s no guarantee they’ll be the same with you.

This is why I don’t feel the need to talk ad nauseam about my past marriage nor know everything that happened in my partner’s past. What is more important is knowing what they want in life and if we can possibly build a future together. If they don’t want kids ever, there’s no possibility of a future and it’s good to find this out early. It doesn’t mean I necessarily want kids with this particular person. That will depend how compatible we are in other ways. If they’re a smoker and/or hate all physical activity and have no interest in health, we won’t be a match. If they are usually more negative than positive and spend their days whining about problems instead of solving them, we aren’t a match. If they prefer to spend their free time tearing me down, they better¬†get the fuck¬†away from me.

I think one of the most annoying things about being a writer with a past in acting is that people assume I must be great at lying. As if entertainers have no integrity. As if we don’t actually feel anything that isn’t some character we’ve acted or written. As if we aren’t actually human.

I hear this exclaimed often after someone meets a celebrity, “He’s just like a regular person!” I shake my head when I hear it. Celebrities are people. Most of them are people just like you. They just followed their dreams and worked their ass off on a different set of skills than you. Very few people are naturally gifted. They all have to work at it. JK Rowling was 32 when she published¬†Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone. Alan Rickman was also in his 30s when he began his acting career. Carrie was Stephen King’s first published novel, but the fourth he had written. And King had been writing since he was a child. It wasn’t until he was married that his writing career took off.

I’m getting caught up on Bates Motel lately and there was an episode where Dylan goes for a job interview. Emma’s dad encourages him to lie because his distribution experience is in an illegal industry. Dylan chooses the path of integrity. He’s tired of making bad decisions in life and wants to be a better person.

Are we doomed to live in a world where people like Trump can do whatever they want without recourse? Will there always be another Trump or Putin waiting in the wings who’ll tell us what we want to hear?

Well, I have other things I need to do today, so my pondering must end here.

Salut,
R~

Thoughtful Thursday – Alien Thoughts

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The world is a strange place. It’s also wonderful. I love how diverse it is, but I wonder if this is a problem for our future.

Please, hear me out.

When you watch shows like Star Trek, it seems as though the human race is united and well defined. We all speak one language (maybe there’s a ship-wide translation system?). I don’t think religion or politics are an issue. Neither is race. Though the humans aboard these ships have differences, the issues that currently divide us are not dividing them. They meet different alien species who war with each other, but most Klingons aren’t killing other Klingons, nor Romulans other Romulans, etc.

But if Star Trek is an example of what the future of humanity is, will we have to approach a singularity as this person suggests in their article?

If this singularity is needed, does this mean that we must eradicate all cultural, religious, political, and language differences to get there? Do we need to adopt one language? Do we redefine culture by taking only some aspects from each culture to make one super culture? Do we need to leave all spiritual thought on the curb and decide we just happened and it doesn’t really matter how we came to be? Do we need to become a people of Earth rather than remember which countries we are from?

How can we truly unite when we spend so much time deciding which political ideology we identify with and attack others who think differently? This question applies to religion also.

How will we present ourselves to aliens as a unified species?

Do we need to?

In many of our fictional representations of aliens, we assume they are one unified species. They all look similar and they don’t appear to have as much division as we do on our planet. Alien Nation did touch on some different views as some frowned upon mating with humans. They also talked about different physiology as the alien women needed to mate with more than one male to become pregnant. Of course, the human male wasn’t happy about this and needed time to accept that he had to share his bride. Yes, I realize that sounds bad given that women are all too often thought of as the property of their father or husband still today. It was an 80s show, so give it a break.

Can we ever overcome our issues with gender?

V is rather like our nightmare situation. Aliens come to convince us that they are here to save us, but they really just want to take our planet from us.

I haven’t watched much Star Trek. I loved The Next Generation, but Deep Space 9 didn’t captivate me. I’m interested in Discovery and thinking that while I wait for it to come, I’ll watch Beyond.

Maybe the aliens are as messed up as Earth and that’s why they haven’t made contact yet. Maybe they’re just as scared as we are that we’d just want to conquer them. Our history as a species really doesn’t help us in this regard.

The Doctor would eradicate the Daleks if a human companion didn’t stop him. Are some differences impossible to overcome?

Is total forgiveness for past atrocities really possible?

I have no idea where humanity is really headed, but I hope we sort some of this out before we populate the galaxy with more humans.

Salut,
R~