Theatrical Tuesday – The Persona

masks-833421_1280

Sorry, I’m late on this post because my neck was super sore yesterday and I mostly got movies watched because of it.

Anyway, Jung totally relates to theatre. Carl Jung came up with four archetypes. One of these is The Persona.

Basically, the persona is the masks we all wear around different people.

Now, some people act exactly the same around everyone they know, but most don’t.

I know people that can’t sneeze around people they don’t know well. I know tons of women that have shy bladders in public restrooms. I know I used to pretend I didn’t like horror as much as I do.

I totally act different with my five year old buddy than I do with someone on a date than I do around my martial arts pals than I do with my brothers, etc.

That’s normal and mostly reasonable. This picture describes this a little better.

circle-of-friends

Actually, this one is even better.

circle

So we’re all actors most of the days of our lives.

It’s part of the reason coming home from work is such a relief. You can be unapologetically you.

Ideally, you want to get to that place with some of your social groups because they form your support network. I’m almost totally me around my dojo buds and the people that have known me since I was a child. For some, it’s been awhile since they last saw me really inebriated because our parties changed when they had babies, but that’s life. But I know if I really needed help, they’d be there.

Now, I don’t think it’s incredibly beneficial to hide large chunks of who you are from people you want to be closer to. If you have romantic feelings for someone and you spend a bunch of time pretending to be someone you aren’t because you think they’d be more impressed rather than letting them get to know the real you, well, that’s probably going to blow up eventually. More to the point, why would you want to? Why would you want them to think you are what you think is cooler than you are? I mean, they might actually think the real you is cooler than that person you want to pretend to be.

But sometimes we need to act, like when the boss expects the moon and you can only deliver a picture of the moon because you’re not in possession of some moon capturing device and even if you were, that would probably destroy the Earth if you actually tried to give it to them. But you tell them, sure thing and deliver as close as possible. Actually, I usually tell them I can’t destroy the world for you, but I’ll get as close as possible.

Wait, that got weird. See why I don’t usually let all of myself out to everyone? I can be quite ridiculous.

Anyway, there are some other Jungian archetypes and they’re all quite fascinating. You can read more about them here. I’ve talked about a couple in this post.

R~

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Symphonic Saturday – The Once Favourite Song

music1Do you ever get to that point with a song where you just can’t stand to hear it play one more time?

I did this week. Which song was it that had me wanting to flip the fuck out and scream or possibly even tear my own hair out if I heard it one more time? It was Vance Joy’s Riptide.

What makes us go from loving a song to hating it so much? Is it simply hearing it too often? I don’t think so, but maybe? I know this particular song came on all the time on my MP3 player. My player can’t remember settings for some reason and despite randomizing my playlist, it would replay this one all the time. It would replay other ones, but those didn’t drive me nuts though.

Maybe it’s that love and hate are two sides of the same coin? That same coin that gets people to make changes that mark them as disloyal?

Maybe I’m just talking bullshit today.

And yet there are songs I’ve heard since I was 12 like Green Day’s Basket Case that I don’t seem to ever tire of. Now that I mention that, I think I want to put that vinyl on and give it a listen as I work on cleaning my living room today.

I’m making progress on the cleaning. It’s not going as fast as I’d like, but I’m getting rid of things nearly every week. I figure that the less I own that isn’t needed, the easier it is to keep clean, and the benefits will be better focus and increased happiness.

I’ve went back to an old layout of my living room because it will give me some martial arts practice space that isn’t under a light, so I’ll avoid broken bulb issues. I found another piece last week. How long ago did I break that? Must be around 6 months or something by now!!!

Anyway, I’m not traveling to visit family this long weekend. It’s a weekend for me to conquer my living room and get caught up on reading for school. Speaking of which, I should eat breakfast and get to all that.

Guid cheerio the nou,
R~

Thoughtful Thursday – 8 Pieces of Wisdom from My Teenage Self

thoughtfulWhile cleaning up my home including my drives, I stumbled onto some words I wrote in 1999. I called them “Self Guidelines”. Maybe they’ll be helpful to someone today.

  1. Help others if it’s in my power AND they want me to.
  2. Don’t let a guy come between my best friend and I.
  3. Don’t do something that will put someone else in a bad position even if they deserve it.
  4. Approach situations and people with an open mind.
  5. Find the good in others.
  6. Keep emotions in check.
  7. Don’t force others to feel the way you do. Respect that they may feel differently.
  8. Be open and honest with the people you love.

I lost my way for a little while, but I found my way back.

Guid cheerio the nou,
R~

Thoughtful Thursday – A Decline in Customer “Service”

thoughtful

Has anyone else noticed that organizations and governments today really don’t provide customer service? This is something I keep running into. It’s like they don’t actually read your support request.

Case 1: “Service” Canada

I put in a suggestion to enhance their website. They switched to a model a couple of years ago where every service is accessed from a central place. This is nice *in theory*. I’m currently collecting EI and the first thing I see on login is menus for people collecting retirement pensions. I’m not eligible for my pension for about 30 more years, so I thought it would be great if they could put what I’m currently there for in the forefront for me rather than having to search for it. I put in a ticket for the suggestion and the response was to send my request to EI. My request had nothing to do with EI or a specific program, so I tried again with a new request that didn’t specify a program and said website enhancement. Then the response was that they need a program specified in order to know where to direct the request.

Case 2: Pokemon Go

For some reason, as someone who is logging in via the Pokemon Trainer Club, I’m having to reset my password every two days. It just stops working. I tried to explain that there is something wrong with my account, but they just told me to reset my password. Did they even read my support request?

I’m sure there are more examples of this out there than these two that I’ve experienced recently. I’m getting this feeling that a robot is scanning for keywords and not understanding what the ticket is actually saying.

Anyone else experience something similar to either of these cases? Something worse?

Salut,
R~

Thoughtful Thursday – Life As I Know It

During the holidays, I had a lot of conversations on a lot of different topics with a number of people. I also saw the new Star Wars movie with my brothers the same day Carrie had a heart attack. I wasn’t in a good mood for most of the holidays between being laid off close to Christmas and struggling with food. Usually it’s not so bad, but everything wanted to be a challenge all at the same time.

Star Wars

Watching Rogue One was a mix of wonder and sadness as I had just heard of Carrie’s heart attack not long before. I found the movie to be well done and bittersweet. It filled a void in the Star Wars canon for me as I don’t read the books. It was a void I was aware had to have happened, but now I know more about it. Growing up on Star Wars, I’ve seen the original trilogy many times and Leia was a favourite of mine. I didn’t find out until after I had reached home that 2016 claimed her for good and all I want to do is cry about it. I don’t think she’d want that for us all though. I think Carrie would tell us to get off our asses and do something with the time we have.

Life

I must confess it is hard for me to visit my hometown at times. There are things I love about it, but it hasn’t felt like the place I belong in a long time. When a friend asked if I would be moving back there given my current state of employment, I was confused about the whole idea. For one thing, Ottawa has a lot more opportunities for employment. There are wonderful people here in my dojo and in the writing community that make it feel like the place I belong. Can I make more friends? Sure. But I’m not leaving Ottawa unless something really good comes along. I love how much Ottawa has going on at any one time. I can’t picture myself not attending Comiccon or Can-Con. Anyway, I’m the kid in my family that is like my dad. He didn’t stay in his hometown either.

Dating

A friend said something interesting about how the men in online chats with me might not be perverts and actually be trying to determine if we are sexually compatible before they risk falling in love with me. It’s definitely a perspective I hadn’t considered. I still think they could at least tell me some general things about themselves like if they are martial artists, musicians, writers, introverts, etc so I can figure out if I would ever want to spend time with them if sex isn’t involved. And pretending to work for Trudeau when one can’t spell ‘over’ really isn’t attractive. For now, I’m starting the year with all online dating accounts closed. I’d rather bump into someone in the real world anyway.

Writing

I’m back home and working away at the last edit I will do on The Page & The Magician until a professional has told me what needs fixing. I was on chapter 9 of 26 as I went through 4 of them yesterday. I’m heavily considering a more traditional approach for this book. I expect Blood Waitress Club will be a self-publish partly because of a deal with a friend, but also I feel that is the best plan for it unless some publisher falls in love with it. I feel like it’s a good idea to do different things depending on the story and its audience.

Work

I’ve been applying to jobs, but I kind of feel like it might not be bad to have some time off to finish this book and avoid commuting in winter. I have some things I’ve realized about myself that make me want to make a career change and I’m taking some time to decide what is most important to me. I’m also thinking an approach may be to have several money making ventures, so I’m never having to depend on one employer again.

Well, I’m off to do more editing on the book. I plan to watch Kiki’s Delivery Service later and perhaps A New Hope in honour of both mother and daughter that were lost this week. I will probably cry. I haven’t really stopped since Carrie went. I mean, I stop long enough to do the odd thing, but my heart hurts.

Ciao,
R~

Merry Monday – Direction

I swear at one point in my life there was a thing about a compass that wouldn’t stop spinning. That’s how I’ve been feeling over the past week. I went to a workshop on job searching strategies this morning and I realized I don’t need a new career. Writing is my passion. Writing is my career. What I need is a job that ensures I can pay my expenses while I write. 

I took a career aptitude test today and it came out with almost only writing careers. How is that for confirmation? Not that I didn’t already know it with every fiber of my being. There is an ache in my heart when I think about writing. It’s a yearning so deep that is only eased by writing. 

Only artistic pursuits engross me so completely that I forget to eat meals. I enter a time warp when playing guitar, when writing, and when painting.

The weekend was spent in the company of good friends, or mostly their toddler. He’s rather fond of me. Adorable little tyke. I watched his first ever martial arts test. He wasn’t nervous about it. It was just another class to him. There’s something to be said for just going and doing what needs to be done.

Today, I returned a library book, cancelled my gym membership to save cash, set up a business blog to talk about my professional writing experience, posted an ad on fiverr for story commissions (which I see needs fixing as it lost the additional options), sent in a form to register for French classes, did a load of laundry, and edited another novel chapter. I also responded to a meeting request that might turn into a job. 

I’m staying hopeful mostly. There are those moments where something upsets me and I burst into tears, but I keep moving forward. 

It was an exhausting day. I’ll fix the ad tomorrow.

Ciao,

R~

Wonder Wednesday: What are Romantic Relationships For?

Image created using Bit Strips.

Image created using Bit Strips.

A fundamental thing about relationships, that I think it’s time to talk about, is their purpose.

A romantic partner isn’t someone who replaces your mother or father. You should know how to cook, do laundry, clean, take out the garbage, etc. and not expect them to do it for you.

A partner isn’t for completing your identity. You should know who you are. You should have your own goals and dreams.

They aren’t your property. Even if you’re married.

A partner isn’t a replacement for a social life. You both need friends and it should not matter what gender those friends happen to be. If you see all your partner’s friends as people they might have sex with the moment you’re not hovering, you have personal issues that you need to deal with.

A partner NEVER attacks you. They don’t physically or emotionally harm you. They don’t say you’ll never be able to accomplish that goal or that thing you love is stupid and only children love it. They don’t embarrass you in front of others. They don’t bring up your sex life at a party.

A partner is supposed to help you achieve your goals, but not at the expense of their own. You work with each other to both have fulfilling lives.

A partner is supposed to support you. They have your back. Sometimes this means getting directly involved. Sometimes it means showing you a new skill then letting you handle it yourself. Sometimes this means just listening to you and giving you a hug or just giving you the freedom. Maybe you do a little more of the chores when they’re preparing for a major project at work or school. It almost never involves money.

A good partner also communicates. If something is bothering you, you talk about it with your partner, not with everyone else but your partner. If you’re excited about something, let them know about that too. But, hey, it’s a good idea not to wait until bedtime because the lack of sleep can make for a cranky partner.

A partner pushes you to be a better version of yourself, but they accept who you are today. They give you the freedom to be whoever it is you are. They might not have all the same interests as you. You need to have some things in common, but you are individuals too.

And you do all the same things for them, but not just because they do it for you. You do it because you want them to feel supported and loved too.

PLEASE NOTE: I have a very busy weekend ahead filled with travel and will not be posting a Funky Friday this week.

Ciao,
R~