Fortifying Friday – Sad

candle-1239891_640I haven’t forgotten about Frisky Friday.

I just haven’t felt up to it for quite some time and my life has been very busy between work placement and traveling for martial arts.

The world is so reactive right now and it makes me sad.

People want to address problems by ignoring the root cause. Again. I don’t know how many times they need to see the same thing happen before they realize their emotions are clouding their judgment on what actually works.

What I’ve been saying for days now is the same as what the experts, who have been working to make things better since Columbine, have been saying.

And I’ve seen it in action.

There was a kid in my school that made a hit list. Many of the people I know were on it. So many have forgotten this incident for some reason. Or maybe they’re just ashamed for making him feel so bad he wanted to kill people. I wasn’t on the list because I wasn’t mean to him. It really wasn’t hard not to be.

What happened with it?

When the list was discovered, the boy was immediately removed from our school and sent away to get help. Eventually, he finished his education in a different city. Instead of ignoring the issue, corrective action was taken immediately and everyone was kept safe. The boy grew into a man and never killed anyone.

Today, he’s a relatively normal geeky guy.

This whole thing is killing me inside because I want everyone to have their rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness protected and so many want to take away rights to put things in place that have proven time and again not to solve the problems. How can you propose solutions that ignore so many of the facts?

Those of us that see beyond one element of this problem are treated as if we are heartless monsters for suggesting the tool is just a symptom. My heart hurts so much right now. I just want these people to stop falling through the cracks. I want everyone to live their lives fully and freely. I don’t want to hear about more children dying because some kid had mental health issues, no father, no friends, etc.

It’s not my country. I can’t do anything about policy. All I can do is help people see the broader picture. When you give up a right, you don’t get it back. Many gun laws are in place and the people hired to enforce them didn’t do their jobs.

I’m just a woman who has noticed the pattern repeat time and again, so I can understand you may think little of my opinion on this matter. But how about the opinion of an expert who does this for a living, Clint Fiore?

Sorry for being a downer tonight.

And that’s how life’s river flows today.
R~

Thoughtful Thursday – Burnt

I’m feeling a little burnt out this week. The recommended treatment for that is human connection, according to the internet.

It’s a good thing next week is reading week and I’m off to hang with friends and engross myself in martial arts.

I need a breather.

First, I need to see if I have any laundry that needs to be done. I also need to clean out my car, pack, and charge my booster pack.

I should also try to get some homework done, but I asked for an extension. It’s not something I do ever, but I really need to have a moment. I worked my butt off throughout the strike, but I’m just having trouble this week.

Maybe I’ll be okay once I get some sleep.

And that’s how life’s river flows today.

R~

Thoughtful Thursday – Past Ghosts

My life is so wonderful that not even the discovery over Christmas that my ex remarried can dampen my spirits. That part of my life is so far behind me it seems alien. I know people are usually upset about these things, but I’ve done and learned so much in the last five years that it doesn’t bother me. I wish them all the best for the future. 
Speaking of the future, mine is full of uncertainty, but I’ve never felt more alive. Sure, having someone to share it with would be awesome, but I don’t need a partner to feel complete. I know I’ll meet ‘the one’ eventually. Until then, my loves are writing, music, and martial arts. 

I have so many writing projects going on and I feel like I’m finally almost living the life I’ve dreamed about. I have some of the most fantastic people in my life and I’m following my dreams. My heart is so full of love and happiness. 

That doesn’t mean everything is perfect. The bus is a pain in the butt and I want my home to be cleaner. I also can’t play guitar as well as I want to. After conquering car troubles and figuring out my food issues, I don’t have a lot of heavy problems now. I pretty much just have to keep working hard on my craft and practice some self care. 

I’m not the resolution type. I just make goals and accomplish them. Then I make new goals. Currently, what’s important to me is doing well in school, reducing my unnecessary material possessions, and living life as fully as possible. I’m working on all of these things and getting happier by the day.

One of my goals is to be in a position where I can move more easily than the other times I’ve moved. I know it’s likely I’ll have to move to the Toronto area, Vancouver, or possibly even California someday for my career. It’s also possible I’ll just travel a lot. At any rate, I want to be ready for whatever life brings me next. 

That said, right now I’m only interested in long term dating if the right person comes along. He won’t feel threatened by my success, put me down, or be inflexible about my career and interests. More on dating tomorrow. 

The last five years have been a journey of personal growth for me. Yeah, it’s been really challenging at times, but I know who I am and what I want. I’m pretty happy and I think you need to be happy before you can bring someone else into your life. I’ve been spending a lot of time lately letting the past go because it’s not where I am now or where I aim to be in the future.

What are you holding onto that is holding you back from the life you want?

Guid cheerio the nou,

R~ 

Thoughtful Thursday – False Information

thoughtfulYou know what grinds my gears?

People telling me not to reply to their blog posts unless I jump through a bunch of hoops to format it just the way they find acceptable.

“You better say a stream of pleasantries rather than simply sharing a link or it’s unwelcoming.”

“You can only reply if you meet my ridiculous IQ level requirements that actually prove nothing about your intelligence, but really show my own insecurity about mine.”

“We need proof you’ve crossed a barren landscape and survived the Hidalgo sandstorm before we’ll talk to you.”

“Rescue a monkey from Agamemnon and we’ll see if you might know something worthwhile to chat about.”

Because that kind of response as a reply to your blog post is welcoming.

Nope.

Guess what?

It feels more like a slap in the face.

Guess what else?

There are thousands of other bloggers out there who are simply happy to have any response at all.

I guess I’m rambling about something without having mentioned what it’s even about. I get rather annoyed when I see people continually sharing incorrect information. In this particular case it relates to Marie Antoinette and that famous saying she almost certainly never said.

I suppose I find it extra irksome since her blood somehow runs in my veins, but whatever.

The point is that if you know it is widely debated on whether she could have said it since she was a young child at the time it was supposedly said, making an entire blog post about it just to make a comment about Trump is rather pathetic. All it shows is your own ignorance and desperation. Yes, Trump is an idiot and a mostly shitty human, but pointing that out doesn’t make you a better person.

Working on yourself does.

Do some frigging research before plucking some historical figure out of the air and using them for your “all rich people are evil” rhetoric. There are tons of rich people who do wonderful things in this world such as J.K. Rowling, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, and many more. Many of them have even undertaken pacts to give away the majority of their wealth. Just because you aren’t on the receiving end, doesn’t mean they aren’t sharing it.

Also, if you can’t go a day without talking or posting about Trump, you have an unhealthy obsession.

Many of my fellow Canadians are so focused on what’s going on south of the border, they’re ignoring the bad shit our Prime Minister has been doing. Most of his election promises have been broken, but few are talking about the pipeline, reconciliation, clean water for the First Nations communities, the shit show that is the plan for cannabis legalization, and much more.

That bugs me too.

And if you want to know how rich people got where they are? Yes, it’s true that some of them got there by birth, but many got there by working hard and focusing on their goals or by seizing an opportunity instead of whining about other people being rich.

Also, while you sit there complaining about Trump, he continues pushing forward on his goals while your own languish.

Speaking of goals, I’m off to school early today for a meeting that could be really important for my future.

Guid cheerio the nou,
R~

Thoughtful Thursday – Life

Sorry for not posting yesterday. I’ve been incredibly busy. I’ve reached the point in my schooling where one assignment is completed and replaced by three others. It’s the point where I’m also doing extra things like lining up work placements. Noticing I’ve been falling behind in readings, I cleared a space for that on my dining room table. 

I’m getting closer on having the rest of my place clean. At least, I keep telling myself this. Usually what happens is exhaustion. We do have a long weekend this weekend in Canada. It’s Thanksgiving on Monday. I’m not visiting family because I did that in September instead and I can’t afford that kind of time away from my studies. 

At least my plumbing issue might be fixed now. That was earlier in the week. I have a few more things to get done this week like returning the case I ordered for my tablet as the wrong size came. My proper keyboard cover is here, but I can’t pick it up until tonight according to the slip. I also need to drop off the cheque for the seminar space tomorrow after I meet with a man at a TV company about potentially doing some of my placement hours there. They’re in the same end of town. 

Hockey has returned. I’ll likely be tuning into the Habs game this evening. 

All this busyness doesn’t distract me from the bad stuff going on in the world. What happened in Vegas was horrifying.  When mass shootings happen in the US, I always wonder how a culture so similar to ours can be so different. There are a lot of people with guns up here yet the frequency that mass shootings happen is so much lower. Is it because it’s written in their constitution? Is it because their population is larger? Do they just not know how to solve problems without bullets? 

I also question a lot about the event itself. So much doesn’t make sense. The man was a multimillionaire who had no taste for weapons. He liked to party and enjoy the finer things in life. You’d think there’d at least be someone at a shooting range who knew him if he was this into guns. Also, how does anyone break glass that is supposed to stand up to hurricanes? His lack of military training to pull this thing off is strange too.
I suppose all of this and the recent sudden loss of an old friend is what had me wake up at 5AM in existential crisis fearing my own death. I feel like I’m close to finally really living my life. I’d really like to do that. 

I don’t have a lot of answers. I’m actually leery of people who are overly certain about such things. There are too many variables to be certain in my opinion. I suppose some choose a side if only to avoid waking up the way I did this morning. Some questions don’t have answers and others I know I’m not the right person to answer. 

That said, it’s time to get ready for school. 

I’ll try to at least post a picture or link on the days I’m too busy in the future.

Guid cheerio the nou,

R~

Thoughtful Thursday – Charlottesville

thoughtfulEvery time I have sat down to write this post, I have struggled to find the words.

A woman was killed. She sounded like a nice person. I didn’t know her. She was younger than me and probably had a bright future.

It’s sad, but not shocking as it was only a matter of time. Actually, I thought it would happen sooner.

A lot of white people are being stupid about it.

When I was a child, I used to wonder why wars happened at all. I used to think the two sides should just talk things over and make some agreed upon concessions then live and let live.

I’m not a child anymore, but I’ve always seen this as an option.

Some don’t believe that option exists and prefer bloodshed.

There’s a movement in Charleston, South Carolina by people on both sides agreeing to debate openly rather than taking to the streets with weapons.

Anyway, this isn’t a political blog and I have no intention of turning it into one.

I hope they can set an example that brings about peace.

Guid cheerio the nou,
R~

 

Warrior Wednesday – Inching Closer

sword

Image created using Bitmoji

As my home gets cleaner, I see more mess.

This is true of my Iaido as well. The more I work to refine my technique, the more I can spot problems in it.

I think it’s a sign of maturity. The longer I practice, the more I am exposed to people above me that do it closer to the ideal. I said ideal because I haven’t met anyone who thinks they do it “right”. Indeed, even 8th Dan senseis have stated they still struggle with their grip or some other thing.

This is true of life as well. This year has opened my eyes to much. I no longer look upon the world with the rose-coloured glasses of a child. I no longer see issues as black-and-white, but in scales of grey. To some degree, this makes me sad, but mostly I’m happy that I know more today than I ever have before.

What that knowledge tells me is that I still have so much to learn in all facets of life.

I’m working hard to improve my writing skills. This fall, I’ll be learning to write in some new structures and for different audiences. I’m looking forward to it. Even more so after diligently reading the descriptions for each of my courses. I should come out of it with a portfolio and hopefully someone will buy my scripts.

This change may make it hard to get to one of my practices, especially in winter, but I’m going to try my best to make it happen. I’m unsure if I want to attempt gradings this year. I suppose it will depend on if I feel ready and if I have the money for them. There are a couple of seminars before then next grading opportunities come that should help me know if I’m ready. Right now, I don’t think so, but who knows where I’ll be in a couple of months?

Guid cheerio the nou,
R~