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I swear I will continue the Book of Five Rings soon. The fire chapter is long and life has been challenging as of late.
What makes a warrior? To me, some part of it is determination. Not every one has the same skills and some of us have more challenges than others. The ability to dig deep and push on despite all odds is an important one.
Tuesday was an extremely trying day for me. My quad muscles were overworked on Sunday making each step I took painful. There was no where to sit on the bus and it’s not so pleasant to be standing with a wheeled bag. I managed to wedge my bag so it wouldn’t move about, but that meant lifting it even more than I already have to because I’m taking the bus.
Which brings me to my first breakdown of the school year. In college the first time, it was the realization that I didn’t want to be a social worker. In college the second time, it was a particular teacher who “lost” my work. Yeah, I know what that sounds like, but that one was sure I didn’t belong in that industry. In university, it was Business Statistics followed by Microeconomics that had me burst into tears because math was super scary for me. I still don’t love math, but it doesn’t terrify me these days.
This time it’s physical pain that is making me worry. I’ll get through it because that’s who I am, but it was a trying day. Part of my issue is posture, so I ordered a few devices to help me with that. I almost ordered a neck brace too, but I’m going to see how the other things do first.
I emailed my teachers to see if they know of any options for me to get around the bus and bag lifting issue that is keeping me in this highly painful state because they really drilled into us not to suffer in silence. Usually, I just suck shit up and deal but I’m trying a new thing.
It’s so frustrating. I know I can do the work. It’s just the damned weight of my things that is making it a struggle. And it’s restricting my placement options, but since I have a car that might work out okay.
I’m wondering if this thing is ever going to heal. I looked at internet stuff and one of the “fixes” is surgery. I live alone and it’s not like I would want the doctors in my hometown doing neck fusion surgery. It’s probably not at that level yet anyway, but I’m skilled at over-analyzing stuff and driving myself crazy.
My teacher got back to me as I was typing this up and suggested I get in touch with the accessibility centre to see if they can help and what my options are. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that myself. Oh. Probably because my neck was screaming that my head is too damn heavy and it’s tired of having to do all the work.
Back to martial arts though. I met with the man that runs the HEMA club on Tuesday before leaving the campus. They haven’t got a practice space yet, so we’ll see what happens there. I’m too broken for anything that resembles sparring, but part of it is studying different sword styles and I may be more of a member that just reads stuff because of it. My goal is more to learn about what I don’t know about sword stuff already and we do very careful partner practice in my dojo anyway.
Our seminar has had a small insurance hiccup and I’m hoping that is ironed out promptly. The wrong information was written on the rider and now we’re again waiting for the proper one. I guess they ignored our instructions.
The OTC pain killer I took is kicking in as I sit here in inflatable traction since one of the other exercises was doing nothing to help me. I’m feeling quite a bit better after reaching out and starting a dialogue to deal with this neck thing before we’re deep in the semester and I’m in too much pain to function and drowning in homework or something as a result.
The next thing I need to do is eat food. It’s actually Tuesday night as I’m typing this. So food and I’m going to try and get one of my other assignments off my plate since I’m almost done one of them anyway.
Guid cheerio the nou,