You don’t have to head off to a hedonist resort to feel sexually free. For some, a resort may be paradise and for others it may be terrifying.
Sexual freedom to me means feeling good in your own skin and being focused on having fun with someone instead of worrying about something like whether or not your legs are perfectly shaved or if your partner will think badly of you if you want them to explore options like fuzzy handcuffs or whipped cream.
It can take time to be comfortable like that and some people never get there.
So many marriages end because one partner felt they couldn’t talk to the other about trying new things. And I don’t think that is limited to sex. If you’re fighting over which garbage can to purchase, can you feel comfortable discussing heavier topics like depression? Like sexual fantasies?
Let’s face it, there are a lot of things we talk about with our significant others that shouldn’t make us feel vulnerable like what colour to paint the kitchen. But for some even those discussions are painful and can leave one feeling like their very character is being attacked over liking chartreuse.
If talking about the small things sets you on edge, it’s going to take a stupendous amount of courage to open up about your wants and needs in the bedroom.
One of the things I strongly dislike is this idea some suggest that sex isn’t that important. It’s fundamentally wrong. One of the top 10 reasons marriages fail is sexual mismatch leading to infidelity. Healthy romantic relationships include regular sex. How regular depends on what works for you and your partner. One couple’s regular may be multiple times a day. Another couple’s may be weekly. And it’s nuanced. Your partner’s drive is probably not exactly the same as yours. The problems come when they are as wide apart as the two sides of the Grand Canyon.
Sex is supposed to be fun. You should feel good about it. You shouldn’t feel like you need to know if others are having more or less than you. That can only bring anxiety and not freedom.
It’s important to note that living within who you feel you are is key to sexual freedom. Whether that means you have different sexual preferences or fetishes, ensure both you and your partner are both on board with whatever you decide to do during play time.
It’s also crucial that other people mind their own business if it involves two or more consensual adults and they aren’t doing anything illegal. Go work on your own sex life rather than nosing around someone else’s.
For some, things like outdoor romps may be the thing that makes them feel the freest 😉