Merry Monday – Roller Coasters


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Roller coasters are something I don’t enjoy. They’re really bad. I mean, when I’m on one I scream like I’m being murdered.

But I actually love going to theme parks. I walk around, people watch, go on some water rides, and get writing inspiration. I’m also always willing to hold stuff for my friends, so their phones and glasses don’t get lost or broken.

I don’t enjoy the emotional roller coaster variety either.

The end of last week was full of the emotional kind. The premier of Ontario attempted to legislate arbitration that would treat the teachers fairly while coming to a reasonable ground and getting us back to school. All three parties had to agree to it because of the time of day and the NDP party refused. This bled into Saturday and Sunday. The bill was passed on Sunday.

All this strike stuff has made me angry, sad, scared, and exhausted.

Before the bill passed, I was extremely frustrated and scared. I asked myself if the answer might be to sell my condo and move back to my hometown. I don’t want to do that, at least not until I have what I went to school for, so I decided that I’m going to fight tooth and nail to get this certificate. If it means more debt, then it means more debt. This is what I want to do with my life and fuck anyone that is going to try and stop me.

After it passed, I was relieved, but some other things happened. I felt a chunk of the tension leave my body. It’s not all gone, but enough is that my shoulders aren’t like rocks. I also cried. Throughout, I tried to bolster everyone else’s spirits and I didn’t taken time to feel all the emotions that come when your future is on hold and you have no control over what will happen.

I do that sort of thing a lot.

Like when my dad had his mini stroke and all my family couldn’t figure out how to get in touch with the neighbour because we didn’t have their phone number and I was like, “I’ll walk across the street and knock on their door.” I was freaked out myself, of course, but I’m good at holding my shit together in a crisis.

I’m looking forward to being back on track as we return to classes on Tuesday. First I have to clear the crap off my car and figure out lunch stuff though.

There are some students who don’t want to get on with life. They’re planning to “strike”. I think that’s absolutely moronic. So what if you have to work a little harder? Life is going to be a lot tougher after this and if you can’t push it, you’re not going to make it. Just go to class, do your work, and grow up FFS.

I’m still pretty tired after the whole experience. It was affecting my sleep.

Now that I’m not freaking out about my day-to-day life as much, I’m starting to feel nervous for martial arts grading as that is not far away now and I’ve missed some practices due to sickness.

I have a few assignments to get to, namely a play, a presentation, and a rewrite of one group assignment. I don’t think we’ll be doing any of that this week. The class for the play is a Monday one, so I have some time on that one. We’re not allowed to be evaluated this week, so I don’t think the presentations will happen? And the other thing is for Thursday’s morning class. We’ll all know more about stuff tomorrow when the teachers go over things with us.

I think the thing I should do is meditate and calm any last anxieties I have.

After having breakfast, cleaning my car off somehow, and dealing with the lunch stuff though.

Guid cheerio the nou,
R~

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