It’s no secret that things can get stale. This article, based on one study, claims women are more prone to a drop in sex drive 34% vs 15% of men. That still means that 66% of women and 85% of men have normal to high sex drives.
What’s most important about it to me is the reasons cited for lowered sex drive being health issues, poor communication, and a lack of emotional connection. Why a study was needed to figure out the obvious I’m not sure. Did they think most people stop wanting sex with their partner to be vindictive? Anyway, this means we need to be better at taking care of ourselves and we also need to be brave enough to do the work that it takes to keep communication flowing and nurture the emotional connection with our partner.
This doesn’t have to be like climbing Mount Everest. A lot of little things contribute to it. Let’s say you and your partner like a TV show. Do you talk about the show or do you just mindlessly consume it while sitting beside each other? If you talk about the parts you love openly with each other, why a character is your favourite, speculate on what will happen next and/or what you hope to happen, you learn about each other through the shared interest. If you instead leave all the talk about the show for your buddies at work, well, you’ll soon find your partner to be more of a roommate than the most important person in your life. How many other times do you cut them off from knowing you?
Of course, sex will suffer at times if you have a medical issue, but those are usually temporary and you need more than healthy hormonal states to want to sexually connect with someone. Your emotional needs need to be taken care of too.
And if you’re always running for the kids and work, you need some alone time to work on your personal goals too.
For some, they just need a nap to restore some energy.
If you can’t talk about smaller things with your partner, it isn’t likely you’ll feel safe opening up about some thing you’d like to try in the bedroom. Health and emotional needs must be taken care of because they are the foundation for a healthy relationship of which a robust sex life is only one piece.
Go connect with your partner and have fun together with or without the sex.
I’m off to a wedding this weekend.
Guid cheerio the nou,