Thoughtful Thursday – Freedom to Grow


thoughtfulWhen did it become OK to verbally attack strangers? To suggest they are inferior to you in some way because they think differently than you? There was a time people knew how to respectfully discuss ideas and how to respectfully disagree with others.

There’s a video online of a woman who is whining that her son hasn’t phoned her from college. She rambles on about wiping his butt, toilet training him, making him go to karate, etc. Some people find the video funny and others find her overbearing.

I take issue with forcing a kid to do an extracurricular he doesn’t like. It’s one thing if he usually loved it and thought about quitting during a trying time. As you level up, it gets harder after all. It’s quite another thing entirely if they dislike the activity and would rather be doing something else. People like Elon Musk become who they are by having parents that let them follow their passions.

Furthermore, posting a video online shaming your son for not calling isn’t a mature way to handle the situation. This is like shoving a puppy’s nose in their poop rather than teaching them to poop outside. Set up something that works for both of you according to both of your schedules rather than complaining he has time for his girlfriend. She may well become the mother of your future grandchildren, but only if they have the time to grow as a couple without your interference. College is a time for your children to grow into adults. They are supposed to be handling almost everything on their own. Maybe you help them with care packages and such. Maybe you pay their tuition. That doesn’t mean they should be in constant contact with you. Don’t be Norma Bates or you’ll bring a Norman Bates into the world. It’s also disgusting to complain how long the black belt testing for karate is after making him go.

I love martial arts, but if my kids would rather play hockey, do ballet, be a musician, or whatever else, I will support them in what they are passionate about rather than force them into an office job that sucks the life out of them. Activities are not like eating vegetables, chores, or bathing. They are something people do in the time they have that isn’t dictated to them by a teacher or boss. Unstructured play is critical for development. Let your kid figure out who they are and want to be.

And FFS, don’t tell strangers they have no character, patience, or willpower and the only way to develop it is to spend a decade doing something they hate. That decade is lost forever. They could’ve been doing something they’re passionate about instead and accomplish something amazing like developing a better testing method for pancreatic cancer like Jack Andraka did.

Sorry for the rant, but it needed to be said.

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Onto what I’m passionate about. Here’s where I sit on my goals:

  • Screenplays: Completed the outline of Puppy Chow and have begun writing it. Got more pages done than I thought I had.
  • Short Story: On page 6/11 of my short story. Editing is a little less painful than last time.
  • Novels: Editing the first half of The Blood Waitress Club as writing a screenplay has taught me how to better show vs. tell.
  • Sewing Business: I have cleaned up the table surface for my sewing area. The floor is next.
  • Kitchen Reno: I’ve made some progress on my drawers. It’s harder than I thought it would be, but I’ll make it happen.
  • House Cleaning: Plant repotted. Begun moving things to storage.
  • Walking: Terrible. It’s been raining heavily most of the week.
  • Guitar: It’s ready to be picked up. Planning to do that tomorrow as I have plans with a friend in that area of town anyway.
  • Exercise: Been sucking at this. Been focused at crossing other things off the list I suppose.

And my Bullet Journal has been helping me achieve all this.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t say, “May the Fourth be with you!”

Anyway, there’s more to tackle yet, so I better get moving.

Salut,
R~

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