Thoughtful Thursday – Holding Back


thoughtfulI haven’t gotten as much done as I’d like lately. Some of it is due to outside forces, those that aren’t in my realm of control. The rest is due to my own fear.

I have a number of projects on the go, some writing endeavors*, some business ventures, and a few scholastic plans. Earlier this week, I submitted an article to a magazine I’ve been wanting to get involved with for a while now.  I’ve been scared to submit my novel anywhere lately. As authors, we spend a lot of time writing a story we are passionate about and it always hurts to get rejected even if we know that’s part of the business side of writing.

I haven’t written much this week beyond my blog as I’ve been trying to get organized for school. I realized it was taking an awfully long time for my high school to send my transcript in to the electronic service and so I emailed the college application service to ask if there was anything I could do. They informed me that the school board my high school is part of doesn’t yet participate in the electronic transcript service. After emailing and calling my high school numerous times, I was able to request my transcript and mail them a money order. I contacted the college and they are (thankfully) okay with me bringing the copy I receive to them for my file. Of course, I have to wait for the high school to receive the money order, then wait for the transcript to travel to my home first. It dawns on me that I should probably inform the coordinator of the program, so they don’t think I’m some sort of flake…

I’m trying to ensure I can pay for school, eat, and cover my expenses. It’s a scary thing. I need to apply for OSAP and see what bursaries are available. I also need to find out about the work study program.

I bought supplies for a business venture, but haven’t jumped into it. I feel afraid to start it for some reason. It involves sewing and I guess I’m not sure I’m fully ready to cut any of the fabric. Once it’s cut, there’s no going back. I am working on getting the work space set up for it though.

I have no idea what my future looks like. I suppose no one really does, but I feel like mine is less sure than others at this juncture. Lately, I’m unsure if I’m moving forward or basically in a state of limbo. The calm before the storm, perhaps?

At any rate, I’m out of clean underwear that aren’t for sexy fun times, so I should get lugging some of the dirty clothes to the floor beneath mine. Then I need to stop stalling and get that query done. Fear be damned.

Salut,
R~

*I realized while writing this that I have no real idea of how to spell this word because I’m Canadian and my natural instinct is to place a U in between the O and the R in every word that ends in OR.
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