I prefer to live my life in the middle or Goldilocks zone. In a place of harmony. Whenever there is an argument, I sympathize with both sides because I usually see logically valid points on both sides. Social things often distress me because there isn’t a clear answer to most issues.
Life is stressful enough without people who would rather pile more on. The wrong kind of stress kills people in a myriad of ways.
Going forward, I’m not tolerating it in my life.
But there is good stress as well. We experience this at the start of a new relationship. We wonder if the other person likes us as much as we like them. When will we kiss? Will the kiss be good? Will we be compatible in other ways?
We also experience the good stress when we’re doing a job we are passionate about. When we accomplish our goals. When we learn something like an instrument or a language. When we grow our families.
The bad stress is meant to tear us down.
People that tell us we aren’t good enough could be bad stress or they could be honest. Maybe there are things we need to improve upon. If they say we aren’t currently good enough, but aren’t saying we’ll never be good enough, they might honestly be trying to help us improve. We need to be reasonable. If they say we’re utter garbage and tell us to give up on our dreams?
They aren’t people who are worthy of holding a place in our lives.
Good stress builds us up. It makes us learn something more about who we are and what we are capable of.
Soul mates bring good stress. They push us just a little farther than where we are currently because they believe in us.
Go ahead and be ruthless about who you allow to be part of your life. Your health and happiness depends on it. There will be people who think you don’t deserve to be happy. They don’t deserve to be in your life either.
Sometimes we do this to ourselves though. I’ve realized lately that the things I’m spending time on are not the things that make me happy. Getting deeply involved in anything political eats me away inside like a cancer. Spending endless hours on Facebook doesn’t make me happy. Working in an office makes me deeply unhappy. Being under writing deadlines makes me dread writing and I actually write more when I’m just doing it for myself, so other than the two short stories I currently have on my plate with deadlines, I’m not going to do more of those this year.
Last weekend, I made a list of what makes me happy and what makes me unhappy. I’m spending far more time on things that make me unhappy than I should be. I’ve also been dealing with Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is annoying as there are tons of things I want to do, but I just can’t always bring myself to do them.
So my plans include a therapy light, more exercise, a distraction free writing tool, and spending more time doing things I love with the people I love.