During the holidays, I had a lot of conversations on a lot of different topics with a number of people. I also saw the new Star Wars movie with my brothers the same day Carrie had a heart attack. I wasn’t in a good mood for most of the holidays between being laid off close to Christmas and struggling with food. Usually it’s not so bad, but everything wanted to be a challenge all at the same time.
Watching Rogue One was a mix of wonder and sadness as I had just heard of Carrie’s heart attack not long before. I found the movie to be well done and bittersweet. It filled a void in the Star Wars canon for me as I don’t read the books. It was a void I was aware had to have happened, but now I know more about it. Growing up on Star Wars, I’ve seen the original trilogy many times and Leia was a favourite of mine. I didn’t find out until after I had reached home that 2016 claimed her for good and all I want to do is cry about it. I don’t think she’d want that for us all though. I think Carrie would tell us to get off our asses and do something with the time we have.
I must confess it is hard for me to visit my hometown at times. There are things I love about it, but it hasn’t felt like the place I belong in a long time. When a friend asked if I would be moving back there given my current state of employment, I was confused about the whole idea. For one thing, Ottawa has a lot more opportunities for employment. There are wonderful people here in my dojo and in the writing community that make it feel like the place I belong. Can I make more friends? Sure. But I’m not leaving Ottawa unless something really good comes along. I love how much Ottawa has going on at any one time. I can’t picture myself not attending Comiccon or Can-Con. Anyway, I’m the kid in my family that is like my dad. He didn’t stay in his hometown either.
A friend said something interesting about how the men in online chats with me might not be perverts and actually be trying to determine if we are sexually compatible before they risk falling in love with me. It’s definitely a perspective I hadn’t considered. I still think they could at least tell me some general things about themselves like if they are martial artists, musicians, writers, introverts, etc so I can figure out if I would ever want to spend time with them if sex isn’t involved. And pretending to work for Trudeau when one can’t spell ‘over’ really isn’t attractive. For now, I’m starting the year with all online dating accounts closed. I’d rather bump into someone in the real world anyway.
I’m back home and working away at the last edit I will do on The Page & The Magician until a professional has told me what needs fixing. I was on chapter 9 of 26 as I went through 4 of them yesterday. I’m heavily considering a more traditional approach for this book. I expect Blood Waitress Club will be a self-publish partly because of a deal with a friend, but also I feel that is the best plan for it unless some publisher falls in love with it. I feel like it’s a good idea to do different things depending on the story and its audience.
I’ve been applying to jobs, but I kind of feel like it might not be bad to have some time off to finish this book and avoid commuting in winter. I have some things I’ve realized about myself that make me want to make a career change and I’m taking some time to decide what is most important to me. I’m also thinking an approach may be to have several money making ventures, so I’m never having to depend on one employer again.
Well, I’m off to do more editing on the book. I plan to watch Kiki’s Delivery Service later and perhaps A New Hope in honour of both mother and daughter that were lost this week. I will probably cry. I haven’t really stopped since Carrie went. I mean, I stop long enough to do the odd thing, but my heart hurts.