A fundamental thing about relationships, that I think it’s time to talk about, is their purpose.
A romantic partner isn’t someone who replaces your mother or father. You should know how to cook, do laundry, clean, take out the garbage, etc. and not expect them to do it for you.
A partner isn’t for completing your identity. You should know who you are. You should have your own goals and dreams.
They aren’t your property. Even if you’re married.
A partner isn’t a replacement for a social life. You both need friends and it should not matter what gender those friends happen to be. If you see all your partner’s friends as people they might have sex with the moment you’re not hovering, you have personal issues that you need to deal with.
A partner NEVER attacks you. They don’t physically or emotionally harm you. They don’t say you’ll never be able to accomplish that goal or that thing you love is stupid and only children love it. They don’t embarrass you in front of others. They don’t bring up your sex life at a party.
A partner is supposed to help you achieve your goals, but not at the expense of their own. You work with each other to both have fulfilling lives.
A partner is supposed to support you. They have your back. Sometimes this means getting directly involved. Sometimes it means showing you a new skill then letting you handle it yourself. Sometimes this means just listening to you and giving you a hug or just giving you the freedom. Maybe you do a little more of the chores when they’re preparing for a major project at work or school. It almost never involves money.
A good partner also communicates. If something is bothering you, you talk about it with your partner, not with everyone else but your partner. If you’re excited about something, let them know about that too. But, hey, it’s a good idea not to wait until bedtime because the lack of sleep can make for a cranky partner.
A partner pushes you to be a better version of yourself, but they accept who you are today. They give you the freedom to be whoever it is you are. They might not have all the same interests as you. You need to have some things in common, but you are individuals too.
And you do all the same things for them, but not just because they do it for you. You do it because you want them to feel supported and loved too.
PLEASE NOTE: I have a very busy weekend ahead filled with travel and will not be posting a Funky Friday this week.