I found this blog post that highlighted exactly how I was feeling about the whole buzzword of gratitude. It helped me make a list that is real to me.
1. I am grateful for having the flu because I needed a break from work.
2. I am grateful for this sore throat because it’s making me appreciate food despite the challenges I have with sensitivities. I’m also short on cash until pay day and was worried I wouldn’t afford groceries.
3. I am grateful for the publisher rejecting my novel because I know it can be better and I felt I’d rather start out with another one and learn more about the process.
4. I am grateful for the anthology rejecting my short story because I didn’t like the changes I made to try and fit it. I also learned I’m not a comedy writer.
5. I am grateful for this fever because it’s forcing me to relax.
6. I am grateful for my spacebar malfunctioning because it’s forcing me to type more carefully.
7. I’m grateful for having good benefits and OHIP because I wouldn’t be able to afford all of the medical care I need to manage my autoimmune condition. I refuse to feel bad because other people don’t have this as it’s not as if I can share with them. That would be fraud.
8. I’m grateful for my neck injury because it caused me to focus on my writing.
9. I’m grateful for my fish because he reminds me that small changes can be scary.
10. I’m grateful for my tiny condo because I have a place where I can unwind after the stresses of the day.
11. I’m grateful they found my autoimmune disease at a time when more research is being done into it and there is more help available.
12. I’m grateful for being single and having the time to develop myself as a person.
13. I’m grateful for being able to see more than the positive side to things because it allows me to prepare for risks and plan contingencies when things turn out for the worst. This lets me bounce back or avoid some hardships entirely.
14. I’m grateful for my ability to empathize with a wide variety of people.
15. I’m grateful for being blessed with the tenacity to go after the things I want in life. Without this, I probably would’ve given up on writing a long time ago when someone I loved told me I could never be good at it.
16. I’m grateful for all the difficulties I’ve had with food and my health because they’ve forced me to take a good, hard look at what I’ve been putting into my body. They’ve forced me to learn a whole lot about nutrition.
17. I’m grateful for having things I’m passionate about because so many on this spinning dirt pile are lost and afraid to be who they really are in their hearts.
18. I’m grateful for having a car loan because it means I have a car and I wouldn’t be able to do much of the things I do without it because taking the bus exhausts me and the smells make me want to vomit. When your nose is really dry, smells hang around longer inside it.
19. I’m grateful for the near inability to produce tears because, wait, I’m not grateful for this one. I really miss being able to cry. Aside from being helpful at keeping eyes moist, the act is very stress relieving. I suppose I’m grateful for having to learn more ways to reduce stress like meditation and adult colouring.
20. I’m grateful for the terrible snow removal company my condo uses because it’s better than having to shovel my parking spot myself.
Further to my last post on Gratitude vs. Balance, I think the writing of Barbara Ehrenreich sums up what I was trying to say. If you’re aware of more than just the positive side, you’ll see things like the mortgage crisis in the US before they happen.