At work we are defining corporate values. It’s gotten me putting a lot of thought into my own. I’ve never put the list of what I value together. I thought it might be a useful exercise. Here are the things that I try to follow in my life:
- Know thyself.
- Instead of complaining about how my life is, I do something to improve my situation.
- When I make mistakes, I own them.
- I earn the things I get.
- If I have the opportunity to improve things for others without doing harm to myself, I do it.
- I don’t flake on my commitments.
- I live like there is no box.
- Most things aren’t life and death.
- There is always room for growth.
- I don’t judge others.
I’m sure this list will grow as I age and collect new experiences.
I’ve written an entire novel centering on the theme of knowing oneself, The Page & The Magician. A lot of the negative things that happen to the main character happen because she doesn’t know herself.
I can’t say I never complain. I whine from time to time, but I don’t allow myself to dwell in a negative place. I’m constantly thinking up a way to solve any problem I have or figuring out how to accept the situation if the problem doesn’t currently have a solution. Not all problems have solutions.
Humans make mistakes. It’s inevitable. I haven’t always dealt with my mistakes in the best ways, but I keep trying to improve in this area. Let’s face it, some mistakes are impossible to fix by saying sorry. People don’t have to forgive me for anything I’ve done wrong. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to fix things, but it does mean I have to accept that the effort won’t always be successful.
I work my butt off for the things I get. Sometimes that pays off in the short term, and sometimes it pays off in the long term. Some things have yet to pay off. Sometimes I get lucky like getting to move easily through 2 lanes on the 417 during rush hour. Most of the time I’ve worked to get into the position to be in the place to have the opportunity. I go to networking events for my writing because the people are my sort of zany (so fun!), but I also know that getting to know other writers is good for my career as a writer.
I used to be bad for helping others without considering the impact on myself. I’ve had to learn boundaries in this area. These days I don’t give to every charity. I’m selective about it.
Namaste is about acknowledging the divine in others. I respect other human beings until they do something to cause me to lose respect for them. Once I’ve lost respect for someone, it’s hard to regain it.
My time is strained, so I choose what I get involved in carefully. I feel awful if I can’t do what I said I would. I may wait until last minute to commit, but once I do I’m almost always there. There is an exception with some Facebook events. If I have a designated role to fulfill, I will be there or I won’t accept the position.
All too often I find those around me to be stuck. A few years ago, I started thinking what if there are no real reasons not to do something? What if I stop inventing reasons and excuses that prevent me from achieving my goals? What if I just go after the things I want? Sometimes that means baby steps, but tiny as they are, they’re still steps in the right direction and babies don’t stay small forever.
I used to worry about every little thing. Sure, some little things are important, but not everything is. If I park 3 inches further from a curb, no one is going to die. That being said, I don’t believe it’s okay to take up multiple spots with a vehicle or box someone in. There’s a level of reasonable consideration for others that doesn’t mean perfection. If I spend too much time focusing on the nitty gritty, I’m going to miss something more important like that I’ve parked in a no parking zone. Ottawa likes its parking tickets.
I’m not perfect and I’ve accepted that I never will be. I don’t know everything, not even close. It’s important to keep learning and growing because the world doesn’t stop evolving. I am driven to continue improving myself. I don’t do this so others will like me. I do this because I know I can be better than I was yesterday.
One never knows what someone else is going through. I don’t judge them. I notice quirky behaviours and curiously ponder them because the writer in me wonders about other people, even if they annoy me or I dislike them.
It’s nearly always better to be honest with others, even if you have something awful to say. Problems can’t be fixed if they aren’t known. It’s worse to give the wrong information because that leads to trying to solve the wrong issue and creates new ones. Life is messy enough without extra stuff piled on top. That being said, I realize there are grey areas. For example, is one lying when they say they don’t smoke if they go off for a guy’s weekend once or twice a year and have a cigar with the guys? To many, the act of smoking would imply frequent engaging in an activity rather than a couple of times a year. Some may still feel lied to though. If one tries to apply this logic to other situations like cheating on one’s spouse, it doesn’t work for many more people.
Things I need to work on:
- Letting go of old hurts.
- Taking down the walls I build to keep others out.
- Living fully in the present moment.
- Keeping a healthy routine that ensures I have things like lunches made for work.
- Patience with myself.
I’m sure there’s more to work on, but I can’t think of the items right now.